Today relationships are difficult. They are confusing as well.
There are so many confusing messages out there in popular culture for
both men and for women. Men can be difficult to get to commit. Perhaps
you have experienced this yourself. If you are in a relationship with a
guy for any amount of time you may have already made a decision or
realized that you would probably marry him if he ever asked you.
But how do you approach the commitment question? Can you get him to commit to you? We have put together some popular tips from various sources on the internet. We have also added a link to a free video that goes into detail on how any woman can learn how to get a man to marry her. This resource is at the bottom of this article…
Cosmopolitan Sex Love Relationship advice article: Source: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/relationship-advice/will-he-ever-marry
Every girl knows how hard it is when she puts in serious time with a guy who refuses to commit… until he moves on to his next girlfriend, and then suddenly, he’s springing for a rock.Women assume that a guy will pop the question once he finds someone he’s compatible with, i.e., The One. But that’s not enough to push him over the edge, according to clinical psychologist Alon Gratch, PhD, author of If Men Could Talk. What, then, does it take?
“Being ready,” says Gratch. “In my 25 years of experience working with men as a relationship therapist, it’s 49 percent the right woman, 51 percent his readiness to commit.” That means that compatibility is hugely important. But if he’s not in a marriage mind-set yet, he’s not going to commit to anyone…not even Gisele.
In fact, 81 percent of the married men surveyed by the National Marriage Project said one reason they decided to wed was because it was the right time to settle down.
“Of course, even if a guy is ready to walk down the aisle, he still needs to find the right person,” says Gratch. “But he is more likely to meet her once he’s in that marrying state of mind.” To help us figure it all out, we asked Gratch to explain. Here, he divulges the five factors that make a man want to take the plunge.
Here are some common comments from men who have met women who are eager to get married Source: http://www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/guy-marry/
I’ve met plenty of women who are in a hurry to get married.
And I understand the reasons: biological clock, all your friends are married, you feel like “it’s time”, you want to have final commitment, etc.
The problem is, there are many considerations that guys have to make that you need to consider too. When you can understand why a guy might have reservations to getting married (or at least, might not be motivated to get married), it will help you communicate better and ultimately get you to a place where you may both decide it’s time for marriage.
Or not… but at least you’ll know where you stand.
Personally, I don’t plan on getting married until I’m ready to start a family. That’s just my personal view and I’m not suggesting or projecting that anyone else should share it. But for me, that would be the determining factor for when I tie the knot.
Now, I’m going to give you a viewpoint that many guys think about and fear. In fact, this fear makes many guys avoid marriage like the plague…
The fear for guys is that it’s going to be a really crappy deal if things fall apart.
Every man has heard countless stories about men getting screwed in divorce settlements. Now I know that there are lots of counter-stories where women have gotten screwed too, but guys don’t typically hear those stories.
I tend to be a risk-averse guy, so I’m not in hurry to get married. All the nice parts of marriage sound nice to me, but the prospect of divorce sounds awful… I have seen men destroyed by it (not to say women aren’t too, I guess I’ve just met more divorced men in my work with guys…)
In many cases, when a guy gets married, he’s doing it for you. Most guys don’t care whether or not there’s a legal document that says you’re married. Most guys have heard enough horror stories to know that tying the knot isn’t going to make a woman any less likely to cheat or leave, so there’s a general attitude that it’s not to our advantage to risk half of our income on the chance that everything works out.
(Quick insert here: I’ve gotten LOTS of comments that there are many marriages where the woman makes more money than the man and she ends up getting financially screwed. Please understand that I get that and I’m not saying that last part to be sexist or “old fashioned”. I’m just sharing how many guys think about marriage.)
Plus, for the guy it’s not like he’s not getting love or sex beforehand.
I’ve always felt that if the relationship is working well and both people are happy, marriage is just a title. But that title has a risk attached to it (and thanks to “horror stories”, the news, movies, media, etc. most guys perceived that risk to be on the guy’s side only).
If the guy is having those kinds of fears, you might want to consider a prenuptial agreement. If you believe that your marriage will be everlasting, there’s nothing to worry about. In fact, that’s the point of the prenup: It gives both of you the ability to relax and never have to worry about anything ending horribly if things don’t work out.
Also, I think it would be in your best interest to relax and wait for him to propose marriage to you. Forcing a ring on a guy won’t work out well. Aside from him probably feeling insulted by the gesture, can you imagine if he did go for it? Every time you have an argument he’d think back to how he felt coerced into marriage and pressured by you.
Marriage is a huge commitment for you and him. If you get impatient, it’s going to block your ability to be empathetic and understanding towards him.
It’s OK if you’re feeling impatient at the moment, but I would highly encourage you to try and put your feelings aside for a moment and try to just appreciate him and empathize with where he is. Then talk to him and let him know what’s been on your mind and how you feel.
Sharing your feelings with him is fine, but you want it to be from a place of love and understanding and not from a place of frustration and impatience.
Personally, my criteria for getting married is: When I’m ready to start a family
When we’ve been together so long that I couldn’t imagine life without her there When it really wouldn’t matter if we were married or not because it was clear neither one of us would leave Other than those reasons (and I would need to have all 3 be true), I would not get married. But that’s me.
Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t date a girl long term to see where it goes, but unless I’m at a point where those conditions are all true for me, I wouldn’t marry yet.
It’s counter-intuitive, but focusing on marriage might actually be part of the problem here. I would recommend shifting your focus away from getting married and put it on appreciating him and loving him more deeply. You can’t force a man to marry you, but you certainly can inspire a man to…
Learn how to marry the man of your dreams and keep him for life: Free Video – Good Luck!
But how do you approach the commitment question? Can you get him to commit to you? We have put together some popular tips from various sources on the internet. We have also added a link to a free video that goes into detail on how any woman can learn how to get a man to marry her. This resource is at the bottom of this article…
Cosmopolitan Sex Love Relationship advice article: Source: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/relationship-advice/will-he-ever-marry
Every girl knows how hard it is when she puts in serious time with a guy who refuses to commit… until he moves on to his next girlfriend, and then suddenly, he’s springing for a rock.Women assume that a guy will pop the question once he finds someone he’s compatible with, i.e., The One. But that’s not enough to push him over the edge, according to clinical psychologist Alon Gratch, PhD, author of If Men Could Talk. What, then, does it take?
“Being ready,” says Gratch. “In my 25 years of experience working with men as a relationship therapist, it’s 49 percent the right woman, 51 percent his readiness to commit.” That means that compatibility is hugely important. But if he’s not in a marriage mind-set yet, he’s not going to commit to anyone…not even Gisele.
In fact, 81 percent of the married men surveyed by the National Marriage Project said one reason they decided to wed was because it was the right time to settle down.
“Of course, even if a guy is ready to walk down the aisle, he still needs to find the right person,” says Gratch. “But he is more likely to meet her once he’s in that marrying state of mind.” To help us figure it all out, we asked Gratch to explain. Here, he divulges the five factors that make a man want to take the plunge.
Here are some common comments from men who have met women who are eager to get married Source: http://www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/guy-marry/
I’ve met plenty of women who are in a hurry to get married.
And I understand the reasons: biological clock, all your friends are married, you feel like “it’s time”, you want to have final commitment, etc.
The problem is, there are many considerations that guys have to make that you need to consider too. When you can understand why a guy might have reservations to getting married (or at least, might not be motivated to get married), it will help you communicate better and ultimately get you to a place where you may both decide it’s time for marriage.
Or not… but at least you’ll know where you stand.
Personally, I don’t plan on getting married until I’m ready to start a family. That’s just my personal view and I’m not suggesting or projecting that anyone else should share it. But for me, that would be the determining factor for when I tie the knot.
Now, I’m going to give you a viewpoint that many guys think about and fear. In fact, this fear makes many guys avoid marriage like the plague…
The fear for guys is that it’s going to be a really crappy deal if things fall apart.
Every man has heard countless stories about men getting screwed in divorce settlements. Now I know that there are lots of counter-stories where women have gotten screwed too, but guys don’t typically hear those stories.
I tend to be a risk-averse guy, so I’m not in hurry to get married. All the nice parts of marriage sound nice to me, but the prospect of divorce sounds awful… I have seen men destroyed by it (not to say women aren’t too, I guess I’ve just met more divorced men in my work with guys…)
In many cases, when a guy gets married, he’s doing it for you. Most guys don’t care whether or not there’s a legal document that says you’re married. Most guys have heard enough horror stories to know that tying the knot isn’t going to make a woman any less likely to cheat or leave, so there’s a general attitude that it’s not to our advantage to risk half of our income on the chance that everything works out.
(Quick insert here: I’ve gotten LOTS of comments that there are many marriages where the woman makes more money than the man and she ends up getting financially screwed. Please understand that I get that and I’m not saying that last part to be sexist or “old fashioned”. I’m just sharing how many guys think about marriage.)
Plus, for the guy it’s not like he’s not getting love or sex beforehand.
I’ve always felt that if the relationship is working well and both people are happy, marriage is just a title. But that title has a risk attached to it (and thanks to “horror stories”, the news, movies, media, etc. most guys perceived that risk to be on the guy’s side only).
If the guy is having those kinds of fears, you might want to consider a prenuptial agreement. If you believe that your marriage will be everlasting, there’s nothing to worry about. In fact, that’s the point of the prenup: It gives both of you the ability to relax and never have to worry about anything ending horribly if things don’t work out.
Also, I think it would be in your best interest to relax and wait for him to propose marriage to you. Forcing a ring on a guy won’t work out well. Aside from him probably feeling insulted by the gesture, can you imagine if he did go for it? Every time you have an argument he’d think back to how he felt coerced into marriage and pressured by you.
Marriage is a huge commitment for you and him. If you get impatient, it’s going to block your ability to be empathetic and understanding towards him.
It’s OK if you’re feeling impatient at the moment, but I would highly encourage you to try and put your feelings aside for a moment and try to just appreciate him and empathize with where he is. Then talk to him and let him know what’s been on your mind and how you feel.
Sharing your feelings with him is fine, but you want it to be from a place of love and understanding and not from a place of frustration and impatience.
Personally, my criteria for getting married is: When I’m ready to start a family
When we’ve been together so long that I couldn’t imagine life without her there When it really wouldn’t matter if we were married or not because it was clear neither one of us would leave Other than those reasons (and I would need to have all 3 be true), I would not get married. But that’s me.
Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t date a girl long term to see where it goes, but unless I’m at a point where those conditions are all true for me, I wouldn’t marry yet.
It’s counter-intuitive, but focusing on marriage might actually be part of the problem here. I would recommend shifting your focus away from getting married and put it on appreciating him and loving him more deeply. You can’t force a man to marry you, but you certainly can inspire a man to…
Learn how to marry the man of your dreams and keep him for life: Free Video – Good Luck!
No comments:
Post a Comment