Today relationships are difficult. They are confusing as well.
There are so many confusing messages out there in popular culture for
both men and for women. Men can be difficult to get to commit. Perhaps
you have experienced this yourself. If you are in a relationship with a
guy for any amount of time you may have already made a decision or
realized that you would probably marry him if he ever asked you.
But how do you approach the commitment question? Can you get
him to commit to you? We have put together some popular tips from
various sources on the internet. We have also added a link to a free
video that goes into detail on how any woman can learn how to get a man
to marry her. This resource is at the bottom of this article…
Cosmopolitan Sex Love Relationship advice article: Source:
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/relationship-advice/will-he-ever-marry
Every girl knows how hard it is when she puts in serious time with a
guy who refuses to commit… until he moves on to his next girlfriend, and
then suddenly, he’s springing for a rock.Women assume that a guy will
pop the question once he finds someone he’s compatible with, i.e., The
One. But that’s not enough to push him over the edge, according to
clinical psychologist Alon Gratch, PhD, author of If Men Could Talk.
What, then, does it take?
“Being ready,” says Gratch. “In my 25 years of experience working
with men as a relationship therapist, it’s 49 percent the right woman,
51 percent his readiness to commit.” That means that compatibility is
hugely important. But if he’s not in a marriage mind-set yet, he’s not
going to commit to anyone…not even Gisele.
In fact, 81 percent of the married men surveyed by the National
Marriage Project said one reason they decided to wed was because it was
the right time to settle down.
“Of course, even if a guy is ready to walk down the aisle, he still
needs to find the right person,” says Gratch. “But he is more likely to
meet her once he’s in that marrying state of mind.” To help us figure it
all out, we asked Gratch to explain. Here, he divulges the five factors
that make a man want to take the plunge.
Here are some common comments from men who have met women who are eager to get married Source: http://www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/guy-marry/
I’ve met plenty of women who are in a hurry to get married.
And I understand the reasons: biological clock, all your friends are
married, you feel like “it’s time”, you want to have final commitment,
etc.
The problem is, there are many considerations that guys have to make
that you need to consider too. When you can understand why a guy might
have reservations to getting married (or at least, might not be
motivated to get married), it will help you communicate better and
ultimately get you to a place where you may both decide it’s time for
marriage.
Or not… but at least you’ll know where you stand.
Personally, I don’t plan on getting married until I’m ready to start a
family. That’s just my personal view and I’m not suggesting or
projecting that anyone else should share it. But for me, that would be
the determining factor for when I tie the knot.
Now, I’m going to give you a viewpoint that many guys think about and
fear. In fact, this fear makes many guys avoid marriage like the
plague…
The fear for guys is that it’s going to be a really crappy deal if things fall apart.
Every man has heard countless stories about men getting screwed in
divorce settlements. Now I know that there are lots of counter-stories
where women have gotten screwed too, but guys don’t typically hear those
stories.
I tend to be a risk-averse guy, so I’m not in hurry to get married.
All the nice parts of marriage sound nice to me, but the prospect of
divorce sounds awful… I have seen men destroyed by it (not to say women
aren’t too, I guess I’ve just met more divorced men in my work with
guys…)
In many cases, when a guy gets married, he’s doing it for you. Most
guys don’t care whether or not there’s a legal document that says you’re
married. Most guys have heard enough horror stories to know that tying
the knot isn’t going to make a woman any less likely to cheat or leave,
so there’s a general attitude that it’s not to our advantage to risk
half of our income on the chance that everything works out.
(Quick insert here: I’ve gotten LOTS of comments that there are many
marriages where the woman makes more money than the man and she ends up
getting financially screwed. Please understand that I get that and I’m
not saying that last part to be sexist or “old fashioned”. I’m just
sharing how many guys think about marriage.)
Plus, for the guy it’s not like he’s not getting love or sex beforehand.
I’ve always felt that if the relationship is working well and both
people are happy, marriage is just a title. But that title has a risk
attached to it (and thanks to “horror stories”, the news, movies, media,
etc. most guys perceived that risk to be on the guy’s side only).
If the guy is having those kinds of fears, you might want to consider
a prenuptial agreement. If you believe that your marriage will be
everlasting, there’s nothing to worry about. In fact, that’s the point
of the prenup: It gives both of you the ability to relax and never have
to worry about anything ending horribly if things don’t work out.
Also, I think it would be in your best interest to relax and wait for
him to propose marriage to you. Forcing a ring on a guy won’t work out
well. Aside from him probably feeling insulted by the gesture, can you
imagine if he did go for it? Every time you have an argument he’d think
back to how he felt coerced into marriage and pressured by you.
Marriage is a huge commitment for you and him. If you get impatient,
it’s going to block your ability to be empathetic and understanding
towards him.
It’s OK if you’re feeling impatient at the moment, but I would highly
encourage you to try and put your feelings aside for a moment and try
to just appreciate him and empathize with where he is. Then talk to him
and let him know what’s been on your mind and how you feel.
Sharing your feelings with him is fine, but you want it to be from a
place of love and understanding and not from a place of frustration and
impatience.
Personally, my criteria for getting married is: When I’m ready to start a family
When we’ve been together so long that I couldn’t imagine life without
her there When it really wouldn’t matter if we were married or not
because it was clear neither one of us would leave Other than those
reasons (and I would need to have all 3 be true), I would not get
married. But that’s me.
Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t date a girl long term to see where it goes,
but unless I’m at a point where those conditions are all true for me, I
wouldn’t marry yet.
It’s counter-intuitive, but focusing on marriage might actually be
part of the problem here. I would recommend shifting your focus away
from getting married and put it on appreciating him and loving him more
deeply. You can’t force a man to marry you, but you certainly can
inspire a man to…
Learn how to marry the man of your dreams and keep him for life:
Free Video – Good Luck!